If you are unlucky enough to have a spouse with a perchance for infidelity, chances are that you will never find out. Actually, there is an 89% chance that you will never find out, according to Undercover Lovers, a website for philandering mates.

Websites for married people seeking “discrete” extramarital affairs are doing quite well, actually. As it turns out, the 22% of married men and 14% of married women who have affairs enjoy the anonymity and convenience of online dating just as much as singles. The difference is that they are not seeking that one special someone to grow old with.

Ashley Madison, Undercover Lovers, Gleeden and others cater to the wandering spouse. They are unapologetic: Ashley Madison’s motto is “Life’s short, have an affair.” Many of the participants are in it for the sex, but others are trying to fill an emotional void. After giving up on filling it with their spouse, they reach out to the thousands of faceless fake-names on the internet.

Often, they simply aren’t getting the sex at home. Even when they are, the thrill of dating and flirting has many allures. Some are just staying with their spouse for the kids, while others claim they still love their spouse and wouldn’t think of marrying anyone else. There are more men than women; about two thirds are men on Ashley Madison. However, the gap between male and female cheaters has been narrowing.

Women are better at getting away with it than men, with 95% of women reporting keeping their affairs on the down low compared to 83% of men, according to the Undercover Lovers survey. This isn’t surprising, as men are generally more impulsive when it comes to infidelity. What is surprising is the overwhelming majority of both genders going uncaught and conceivably unpunished for their lecherous activities. It seems that most spouses are too trusting to monitor email and web history religiously.

Additional Resources

USA Today Sites that Cater to “Discreet” Encounters Thriving: http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/wellness/story/2012-02-13/Sites-that-cater-to-discreet-encounters-thriving/53084600/1

The Magazine 89% of Adulterers Never Get Caught: http://sellyourstoryuk.com/2012/06/19/89-of-adulterers-never-get-caught/

Redbook “I Went Undercover on America’s Cheating Website”: http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/advice/cheating-websites

Redbook Women Cheat, Too: http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/advice/married-women-cheating

Divorce Statistics Latest Infidelity Statistics of USA: http://www.divorcestatistics.info/latest-infidelity-statistics-of-usa.html